What is Masonry? How This Defense Mechanism Affects Relations | Brittney Lindstrom


Researcher and couple therapist John Gottman famously described what he said The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in relationships — communication problems that are most likely to predict the eventual failure of a marriage.

These four relationship problems are: criticism, contempt, advocacy, and wall building.

What is stone masonry?

Also known as masonry “silent treatment,“It is a defense mechanism in which the bricklayer shuts down, avoids, withdraws, or refuses to communicate with the other person in the relationship.

The blocker may want to stop further discussion and create distance, in response to feelings of discomfort, shock, or being overwhelmed, and because they may want to shut down emotionally.

Directly or indirectly, this means that their partner’s feelings are worthless and often leaves the other person feeling vulnerable, confused and deeply hurt.

As a ripple effect, physical intimacy is often stalled, which can lead to lower self-worth, self-esteem, and insecurities. Studies have even shown thatBuilding a wall over time leads to “excessive musculoskeletal wear and tear and the development of musculoskeletal symptoms.”

RELATED: 7 Rules for Fair Fighting with Your Spouse, According to Science

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Author Since: Dec 18, 2022

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