The Story of Your Relationships
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This is Part Two of a two part series.
Thanks to our highly developed social environment, we have risen to the top of the food chain. cognitionand our ability to read others and develop larger and more elaborate social groups than any other animal. However, our social power has also become our social albatross: We think too much to the point where thought turns into rumination – it’s all about our social relationships: The story.
This has been proven by research: When we set a task or take a break and “relax”, our mind thinks of one thing more than anything else: our social relationships; our story. In other words, our default cognitive mode or what neurologists call our “default network” is social.
Really Seeing Someone Else
How can you free yourself from the pressure of your story? Once you get past the drama of your story, you will begin to develop a love for humanity as well. Because certain characters in your story don’t have to impress you as you’re used to, you’ll start to see other characters you paid little or no money for before. Caution: The person who cleans your house or buys you a meal; gas station attendant; the person you pass by in the park, you don’t make eye contact, that makes you feel Use Luft secretlyIt means “to be looked after like air” in German, and as a clever recent study found, feeling more disconnected from others later on; The homeless you passed by before because it wasn’t “you” – you always called your brother “brother” but never said “I’m homeless” to the homeless person – all these people suddenly seem more important to you. in the larger space of your life that you now have.
If no one belongs to you, then perhaps everyone, including you, belongs to something greater than you. Something more amazing than anything you feel connected to. Something that makes you feel distinctly human and gives you a deep, indescribable feeling that you are reaching your potential.
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I invite you to make a decision that will change your life. There are three story options: The first is to determine whether you will exist in the story you inherited. The second is to live in the story you create. Third, to transcend these stories and live as freely as possible.
The third option may allow you to live in a new reality where your current connection with other people becomes more important than the previous social story – the “runaways” you diligently tell yourself for a lifetime. relationships that go through the four natural processes of human social interaction: birth, growth, decay, and death.
(The few caring, meaningful, sustainable relationships in your life—what I call “CMSRs—have eroded over the years and are still growing) your “social gold”. Truth be told, they keep you alive. Instead of ruminating on relationships that no longer exist, appreciate them. Renew them if that’s what you want and if possible—usually not possible—otherwise just drop them and make room for the new.)
It may be necessary to choose the second option – creating a new story – before you come to the third option, where you transcend the new story and are more intertwined with humanity.
The new story is like a stick you attach to a small tree that allows you to process the past and greet the future with an open heart. When you truly embrace this new collective space, you can toss the stick aside and let the tree grow, the third option where you live beyond the encroaching tentacles of your stories.
When you truly engage in this new approach to loving and caring for everyone—each struggling to delve deeper into and possibly transcend their own story—you will realize that the greatest conflict in your life is not between the two parties, as you have always believed. Good and bad. You’ve always been stuck between the truth and the lie you told yourself for a lifetime.
I wish you success in your journey from one creator to another.