6 Money-Related Questions to Ask Before Starting a Serious Relationship
The time to ask is before you commit.
- Love hormones can blind us to important issues.
- Asking uncomfortable questions about money today may lead to less discussion in the future.
- Financial abuse occurs in 99% of all domestic abuse cases.
Falling in love is a hot mess. Spending time with someone we care about releases the feel-good hormone dopamine. This is followed by norepinephrine, a related hormone that tags teams with dopamine to give us extra stun. And then there’s the fact that attraction leads to a decrease in serotonin, filling us with “feelings.”
All these “feelings” may help explain why we tend to throw logic out the window when we’re in love with someone. Examining it so deeply feels so delicious.
For example, we may fall in love with someone whose views on religion or politics we do not know. We can also give our heart to someone who deals with finances in a completely different way than we do.
cold truth of science
According to science, after about four years of intercourse, these initial hormones subside and are replaced by other important attachment-related hormones. These hormones are also pretty nice, but not as blinding as their predecessors.
All of a sudden, the fact that they never lift their socks off the ground has become less cutely disorganized and more infuriatingly annoying. It’s less bohemian and more irresponsible that they’re cool about paying bills late.
Given that money is one of the most discussed things in couples, wouldn’t it make sense to ask the important questions before letting dopamine make all the decisions? Before committing to a relationship, here are six questions to ask.
1. What do you think about debt?
This is very important, because if your girlfriend is the type of person who pretends until you do and thinks the way to convince the world that they’re on the rise is to live big, you’re probably in debt. problems at one point.
2. How do you imagine us splitting the bills?
Does your partner hope to pool funds and share everything, or does he expect you to pay the lion’s share of the bills? It may not matter much today, but when these hormones start to soften, you’ll wish you had protected your own financial interests.
3. How important is it to you to save for the future?
If you’re a savior joining forces with a spender, you can count on a lot of arguments. savings account is empty and an emergency occurs.
4. Do you think “material” means success?
If you’re honest with yourself, you can probably answer this question already. Take a look at your life partner and consider how many toys and gadgets they surround themselves with. Do you see others bragging about what they have or how much they earn? If so, you need to decide whether you share their values.
5. What would you do if you lost all your money?
True character emerges when everything goes wrong. No matter how optimistic you may be about your joint financial future, things can and do happen. People get sick, lose their jobs, and weather bear markets. It is important to discuss how you will deal with it if everything is lost.
6. Do you think financial decisions should be collaborative?
When you let someone else take full control of your finances, you immediately put yourself in a dangerous position. Research shows that financial misconduct occurs in 99% of all domestic violence cases. This doesn’t mean that your partner will suddenly become violent, but it does highlight the importance of maintaining your own financial autonomy. If your partner says something like, “I’m good with money, so I’ll take care of everything,” it’s a danger sign.
True love is one of life’s greatest rewards, but that doesn’t mean we have to wear blinders. Before you settle down, make sure you’re financially connected with the person you’re building a life with. Doing so means no money something you fight.
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